ID02 The Boy that Never got a Chance

Do you remember your first college course of 30 people, and there is that one class clown who was buddies with all the guys and had all the girls swoon over him?

That was him. I never gave him a chance.
No matter how many times he tried in college.
No matter how many messages he sent me post-college.

I was touched. How can you not?
A guy who liked you so immaturely much, that he texted you "I'm never going to talk to you ever again" after you got a boyfriend.

That was 5 years ago.
Coincidentally enough, there was him again.
It's almost like he predicted about the demise of my relationship, and decided that it was his golden ticket.

Fine, why not? I matured 20 years in 5 years. He could probably have at least matured 3 years in 5 years? That would make him "21", legal.

The first date was chaperoned by my girlfriends at the table across the room.
He talked too much.
Mostly about how much money he's going to make and about how his ex-gf broke his heart.
He also spewed verbal garbage about how he would make a great husband.
I also had to use my wallet that night.
Yeah, I should've ran the other way right then and there, but I like to drag things out painstakingly long by making excuses for them.

We went to the D&B after dinner, and met up with my girlfriends.
The next day, my girlfriends asked if he had a lazy eye because he never looked at them in the eye during conversation.
I laughed, and made an excuse for him - he was nervous.

He kissed me during our second time of hanging out. This was after his dog leaving his mark by biting me in the thigh and having watched the confessions of a shopaholic.
It was possibly the worst kiss of my life.
Reasons:
1. I failed doing the "just stare at the screen" trick. It usually works.
2. I am a prude and wasn't ready.
3. I didn't like him.
4. I was just going to reciprocate with a peck, but he was going to be more. Do you need details? Email me if you do.

Oh yeah, then he tried making out with me and I screamed. Awesome.

I decided to stop talking to him yesterday.
In the span of a little bit over 2 weeks, here are the highlights in random order:
1. I dreaded hanging out with him.
2. I pretended to have to work late 3+ times.
3. I made sure I had plans for the weekend, before he even got thinking about making plans.
4. He's talked about me to his mother and wants me to officially meet her.
5. He made jokes; "I'm going to punch you in the stomach." or "You are going to get so trashed, arent you? you alcoholic." (hello, i don't drink like that)
6. He threw fits just to get a reaction out of me.
Him: "Will you make me dumplings?"
Me: "uhm...sure..."
Him: "Wow, I'm not talking to you from now on"
Me: "wait...what?"
Him: "You won't make me dumplings?"
Note: If I liked girls, I would be a lesbian.
7. Knowing that I was sleeping, he texted me twice and called me once on a SATURDAY MORNING.
8. "You're full of shit" he said, after I said I didn't get his text. Then apologized profusely via phone calls and texts.
9. He talked to me about having kids.

Chivalry is not dead & if i wanted to hang out with a 15 year old girl, well, I don't.

Total times of hanging out: 3
Total times of having fun: 0
I really don't know who got pwned in this one.
If it was me, I'd say it was me.